There is an old angler named Spitfire
Who’s fishing is really, nowt short of dire
So this little story is for our mate Kieth
You fucking deserve it after weeks of grief
Dodgy eye, handlebar moustache
Blue oyster bar is where he got his rash
Superstar Egg has become his prodigy
I swear down, i tell you, these 2 are geeey
Come round mine I’ll show you a rig
Answers the door in a dress and a wig
Simons eyes open wide with delight
Jesus Spitfire you give me a fright
Dont worry Egg and dont tell the mrs
Its not only me, but Mart Dobson pisses
Curly pigs when the hook comes off
Infront of me, well i had to scoff
Poor bloke Keith was only plumbing depth
Fucking plummet swears under his breath
Not much action from the oldmans peg
Here comes the excuse, it’s his fucking leg
Expert advice for many a venue
2 cod and chips from off the menu
Not just his fish that gets battered
Leave it to bobby all torn and tattered
He might be little and little bit squat
But i tell you Kieth! he knows whats what
The Northern monkey fails at Cudmore
His elastics not stretched, im on the floor
So heres the moral of this story
Youve got catch fish, before you claim glory
So all the tales from yester year
They mean Jack Shit, im off for a beer
I hope you enjoyed your little ditty
Teach you a leason so dont go shitty
Who’s fishing is really, nowt short of dire
So this little story is for our mate Kieth
You fucking deserve it after weeks of grief
Dodgy eye, handlebar moustache
Blue oyster bar is where he got his rash
Superstar Egg has become his prodigy
I swear down, i tell you, these 2 are geeey
Come round mine I’ll show you a rig
Answers the door in a dress and a wig
Simons eyes open wide with delight
Jesus Spitfire you give me a fright
Dont worry Egg and dont tell the mrs
Its not only me, but Mart Dobson pisses
Curly pigs when the hook comes off
Infront of me, well i had to scoff
Poor bloke Keith was only plumbing depth
Fucking plummet swears under his breath
Not much action from the oldmans peg
Here comes the excuse, it’s his fucking leg
Expert advice for many a venue
2 cod and chips from off the menu
Not just his fish that gets battered
Leave it to bobby all torn and tattered
He might be little and little bit squat
But i tell you Kieth! he knows whats what
The Northern monkey fails at Cudmore
His elastics not stretched, im on the floor
So heres the moral of this story
Youve got catch fish, before you claim glory
So all the tales from yester year
They mean Jack Shit, im off for a beer
I hope you enjoyed your little ditty
Teach you a leason so dont go shitty
